Fatima & Carla

From: 🇲🇦 Morocco + 🇮🇹 Italy

Ages: 28 & 31

Languages Spoken: Arabic (Darija), Italian

Current Location: Bologna, Italy

Child: Rania, age 2

Story: Mixed-faith queer couple. Arabic is used during religious practice, Italian at nursery and play. They cook and sing in both.

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Can you describe your family’s language background?
Fatima grew up speaking Darija (Moroccan Arabic) in Casablanca, with French as a second language. Carla is from Modena and speaks Italian natively. We both speak English too, but it’s not part of our home life.

Which languages are you using, how and where, and how did you decide on that mix?
Arabic (Darija) is used mostly during religious moments — prayers, celebrations, and stories from Fatima’s childhood. Italian is the everyday language — at nursery, with friends, and most routines. We blend the two during meals, music, and reading.

Why is teaching those languages important for you?
Language is how you pass down more than words — it’s culture, faith, humour, values. We want Rania to know where she comes from, to connect with both sides of her identity.

When did you first decide to raise your child bilingually?
Before she was born. We always knew we’d raise her with both Arabic and Italian. It wasn’t even a question.

Did you follow a specific strategy (e.g. OPOL, ML@H), or did it evolve naturally?
We use a relaxed ML@H approach. Arabic is spoken by Fatima during spiritual practice, and we both switch to Italian with each other and in public. It’s fluid, but intentional.

What were your biggest concerns at the beginning — and how did those play out over time?
We were worried Rania might reject Arabic since it’s not used outside the home. But because we tied it to rituals, music, and food, she’s developed a positive association with it.

What helped you stay consistent in using both languages? What’s your routine?
Songs help a lot. We have a playlist of Moroccan lullabies and Italian nursery rhymes. Also, Fatima always does Friday prayer in Arabic aloud, and Rania often copies the words, even if she doesn’t understand them fully.

Has your approach changed as your child got older?
A bit. Now that she’s in nursery and more confident with Italian, we’ve started introducing Arabic books and stories in the evenings, just before bed, when she’s most receptive.

How do you handle resistance or when your child favours one language?
We don’t force it. If she leans toward Italian, we gently bring Arabic into her world in playful ways — cooking together, songs, short expressions. It’s about building positive experiences.

Have you experienced any moments of breakthrough or pride in their language development?
Yes — during Eid, she surprised everyone by saying “Eid Mubarak” perfectly to Fatima’s mother on a video call. It made Fatima tear up.

What role has extended family, or your community played in supporting (or challenging) your goals?
Our Italian side of the family is supportive but doesn’t speak Arabic. Fatima’s family is happy we’re keeping the language alive, even if from afar. The challenge is we’re far from Moroccan community spaces.

Got a funny or unexpected story from your bilingual journey? We’d love to hear it.
Rania once said, “Mamma, oggi facciamo couscous yalla!” Mixing Italian structure with an Arabic expression — and she was so proud of it, we made couscous immediately.

Have you ever felt pressure (internal or external) about your bilingual goals?
Yes. Sometimes people say things like “Just stick with Italian, it’s simpler.” There’s also a sense of needing to “prove” the value of Arabic in a European context.

Do you feel like your child connects emotionally or culturally to both languages?
Yes. She kisses the Qur’an, helps knead dough for homemade pizza, and dances to Rai music and Italian pop. Each language is tied to love, family, and joy for her.

What’s been the most unexpected challenge?
Finding Darija resources. It’s not widely available in children’s books or shows, so Fatima has to adapt stories or record her own voice singing traditional songs.

What has surprised you most in a positive way?
How much Rania associates Arabic with affection. She often uses “habibi” (my darling) or “yalla” playfully. These aren’t just words — they carry emotion and warmth.

What technology or other resources do you use to support language learning?
YouTube for Arabic children’s songs, Italian audiobooks, and some digital picture books. Also, voice notes from Fatima’s mum have been a beautiful way to keep Darija in Rania’s ears.

Have schooling or childcare settings helped or hindered the process?
Nursery staff are open-minded but focused on Italian. We have to reinforce Arabic at home. They’ve shown interest though — Rania once taught her class to say “salaam”!

If you could do one thing differently, what would it be?
Start recording family traditions and lullabies sooner. Fatima had to remember them from scratch. It would’ve helped to document them from the beginning.

What advice would you give to other parents just starting out?
Don’t wait until it’s “convenient.” It never will be. Just start small — one song, one story, one word at a time. And celebrate every tiny win — they build a foundation of pride.

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