Victor & Natalia

From: 🇷🇺 Russia + 🇺🇦 Ukraine

Ages: 36 & 34

Languages Spoken: Russian, Ukrainian

Current Location: Warsaw, Poland

Child: Dasha, age 5

Story: Raising a trilingual child in exile. Dasha speaks Polish with neighbours, Ukrainian with Mum, and Russian with Dad. Family is central to preserving heritage.

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Can you describe your family’s language background?
Victor is Russian, Natalia is Ukrainian. We met through work years ago and have always communicated in a blend of both languages. Since moving to Poland, we’ve added a third language into the mix—Polish.

Which languages are you using, how and where, and how did you decide on that mix?
Natalia speaks Ukrainian with Dasha, Victor speaks Russian, and she picks up Polish naturally from her environment—nursery, playgrounds, neighbours. It’s a three-language household, but we try to keep the roles clear.

Why is teaching those languages important for you?
It’s not just about words. Each language carries history, emotion, and identity—especially for us. In today’s political climate, it’s a quiet act of resilience and love to pass on both Russian and Ukrainian heritage.

When did you first decide to raise your child bilingually?
The plan was always to raise her bilingually, but once we moved to Poland, it naturally became trilingual. We embraced that opportunity even though it came from difficult circumstances.

Did you follow a specific strategy (e.g. OPOL, ML@H), or did it evolve naturally?
We use a loose OPOL approach—One Parent, One Language. Natalia speaks only Ukrainian, Victor only Russian. We don’t teach Polish actively—it just happens through immersion.

What were your biggest concerns at the beginning — and how did those play out over time?
Our main fear was confusion or language mixing. But children are smarter than we give them credit for. Dasha knows exactly which language to use with whom.

What helped you stay consistent in using both languages? What’s your routine?
Consistency in routines helps. Natalia does bedtime in Ukrainian, Victor handles breakfast and walks in Russian. Mealtimes are flexible, but we each stick to our language throughout the day.

Has your approach changed as your child got older?
A bit. At first, we were stricter, but now we’re more focused on keeping the emotional connection to the languages rather than perfection. Polish has grown naturally, so we’ve leaned more into preserving Russian and Ukrainian.

How do you handle resistance or when your child favours one language?
There are weeks when Polish dominates. Instead of forcing her, we increase exposure—more calls to grandparents, favourite cartoons dubbed in Russian or Ukrainian, even simple cooking sessions using our languages.

Have you experienced any moments of breakthrough or pride in their language development?
Absolutely. She once told a story to her doll in all three languages, switching naturally depending on the character. It was beautiful to witness her internalise each language’s personality.

What role has extended family, or your community played in supporting (or challenging) your goals?
Our families are deeply supportive. They send voice notes, songs, and gifts. We’re not part of a big expat community, but our local Polish friends are curious and respectful of our trilingual setup.

Got a funny or unexpected story from your bilingual journey? We’d love to hear it.
Dasha asked a Polish neighbour, “Do you want вареники or пельмени today?”—like they were common knowledge. The neighbour had no idea what she meant but smiled politely anyway.

Have you ever felt pressure (internal or external) about your bilingual goals?
Yes. Sometimes it feels like there’s not enough time in the day to give equal space to both heritage languages. We feel pressure to “do it right,” especially being far from home.

Do you feel like your child connects emotionally or culturally to both languages?
Yes. She calls Ukrainian the “language of songs” and Russian the “language of stories.” Each has its own space in her heart, and that’s exactly what we hoped for.

What’s been the most unexpected challenge?
Navigating the politics of language. Some people question why we’re still teaching Russian. But to us, it’s not about politics—it’s about family and roots.

What has surprised you most in a positive way?
How naturally Dasha can move between languages depending on who she’s with. It’s like she’s tuning a radio—no effort, just instinct.

What technology or other resources do you use to support language learning?
We use audiobooks in both Ukrainian and Russian, interactive language games, and video calls with grandparents. YouTube has also been a helpful tool—but we always monitor what she’s watching.

Have schooling or childcare settings helped or hindered the process?
Nursery is entirely in Polish, but the teachers have been great about supporting her multilingualism. They even let her bring in Ukrainian books for show-and-tell.

If you could do one thing differently, what would it be?
We’d start recording ourselves telling family stories earlier. These little moments are gold, and it would’ve been nice to have a library of them.

What advice would you give to other parents just starting out?
Don’t be afraid to take a flexible approach. It’s not about rigid methods—it’s about exposure, love, and making language part of daily life. And don’t worry about mistakes. Just speak.

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